In a shock move Newcastle United have announced that as of the start of next season they will be playing in the French Ligue1. This will explain the fact that they now have an entire squad of french players at the club and more to follow in the next few days.
People have been wondering why Alan Pardew has been signing so many French players recently and this is why. Secret talks between Mike Ashley and the French football federation president Noël Le Graët have emerged today that they intend on joining the French league next year. Ashley is sick of not winning anything in the Premiership so thinks he has a better shot at not only the club winning something in the French league but also means he can flog more Sports Direct kit over on the continent.
This is obviously all a load of bollocks that I’ve just made up but it’s funny none the less.
“I for one welcome our French overlords to St James’ Park”